Pain & Distance – In Real Life

When we begin blogging due to the topics we write about most of us choose to do so “anonymously”. However, probably because of the intimate nature of the stories we share we form close friendships. I know that I have shared so much more of myself to those I have found here and in chat rooms than most people “in real life.” That term is funny because isn’t it all “in real life”. Quite a few of those close friends have or are going through some rough shit lately. I cry real tears for their pain and the thousands of miles between us. All I can do is send love.

Conversations With Me #1

Spotting the new exercise band laying on the bed. “Is that a condom?”

“Yeah maybe for an elephant.”

“Oh have you ever seen elephants having sex?”

“NO and I’m good” he quickly professes.

“Because it’s like huge” as I hold my arms out.

“Does that turn you on?”

“No it kinda freaks me out.”

He just shakes his head and walks away.

*Oh and I’m sure Daddy thanks whoever it was that showed me the elephant porn. Seriously I can’t remember why I watched it but someone must be responsible.

Three Things

“So what were you staring at on that other waitress?” Daddy asked as we left the restaurant.

I gave him a grin and then faked innocence.

“It was one of three things.” he said.

“What three?”

“Nope you tell me what you were staring at first.”

“It was actually her tattoos.” I said feeling confident he assumed it was her breasts.

“That was one of them. I figured it was her tattoos, her tits…”

“It wasn’t. Well not that I didn’t notice them.” I laughed.

“Or it was her pens.”

“I DID NOTICE HER PENS! She had all different colors!”

We were both laughing as he knows me too well.

When You Take Your Kids To The Sex Shop

“I’m going to the sex store after work. Wanna come?”

“Sure” wasn’t exactly the response I was expecting from my two older daughters.

While we have talked about sex shops and kidded about going together I still thought that might be crossing the line. I was assured by other sub friends that it wasn’t and it would be a cool experience. Polling this audience might have been very one sided. 😆

Still thinking they might be punking me and bail at the last minute I solidified our plans to meet there. I did warn them that I was there to make a purchase… for me. Still cool with it. I was eager to go but really curious if this would turn out to be embarrassing, though I wasn’t sure for whom. I know I would certainly try to get them but they’re my kids I assume they would try the same. 😉

They were parked outside when I arrived although not directly in front of the store. We went in and to my youngest surprise no one was carded. I quickly found the specific outfit I was looking for and was offered to try it on. I asked if they wanted to go into the dressing room with me to which I was told NO. At one point one kid was looking at something and I commented that I really liked it and I was told “Well we are not getting matching outfits!” lmao

In an attempt to make them squirm, I pointed to one of the ginormous dildos and commented “Where do you even put that?!” All I got was “I don’t know Mom.”

We perused the toys while one talked about her last trip to the adult store. We talked about the penis stickers I sent my sister-in-law who absolutely did not appreciate them. Overall it was just a shopping trip with my daughters. It just happened to be at a store selling really large dildos.

I thought I would have a hilarious story to tell and that this would be something we laughed about for years. I admit it was kind of a let down in that respect. However, I hope that it means that I have successfully taught my daughters that sex is normal, acceptable and that women can enjoy it without being ashamed. 


I like it.

My earliest known memory is after I got my own room so somewhere after age 10 but I’m sure I had to have been doing it earlier than that. I had, still have, a baby doll with a hard plastic head that I would defile.

With my first boyfriend, not that many years later, I found it much more enjoyable for him to do the work. Sex was a rarity as it was hard to sneak away at that age but he could get me off just about anywhere. Such as under a blanket in the back seat of the car.

Then there was Mr. Fingers. Let’s just say he was aptly named. Fortunately that was all that ever happened with him, though he tried. Sexually both of those relationships were very one sided. I was getting most if not all of the pleasure there. Honestly though I was stupidly fucking young.

Daddy came along and we talked about everything right from the start. We shared intimate details of our past so I’m sure we probably talked about masturbation as well. I’m not sure if it were those talks or maybe a hand cramp that prompted him to purchase me my first vibrator. Lmao I just remember him coming by the house to give me something. Then my shock at the package.

These were thoughts I had as I carried out his morning note. “Please play. Please orgasm at least once.” There are times I don’t want to play by myself because I want him to do it for me. Wow that sounded like a total pout. I’m sure there are reasons that he has me do it. It might be just because he knows it is part of me.

* Maybe if he reads he could comment 😉