Beautiful

me:   You’re beautiful.

Daddy:  You say the same thing to the dog!

I don’t understand why he isn’t flattered.  It’s obviously a high compliment. He knows how much I love that dog.

 

th

 

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Rainbow Pants the Double Standard

In a crowd of jeans and black t-shirts the rainbow stretch pants drew my attention. Oh Wow OMG Look Away Don’t Stare. Whipping my head to look at the ceiling Yeah real subtle. It was apparent he was not wearing anything to contain himself under those tights.  His “directional indicator” (credit to a friend) was very eye catching.

Later at Hooters… I am assessing the ass and tits of every waitress. Why is it the man in rainbow tights made me uncomfortable?

Why is the Gynecologist appointment so emotional?

Some people dread the annual gynecologist appointment but I really don’t.  I dread the waiting. That office seems to have the greatest potential for long delays. This year I decided to make a dentist appointment in the same day so I could justify taking the entire day as sick time. I loathe my job so much that I’m willing to endure those two appointments just for a day off.  Of the two I am really dreading the dentist.

That said the gynecologist office leaves me emotional in the last few years. It’s a reminder of my age and stage of life that creates sadness. The waiting room is full of pregnant women and women hauling new babies. There are dads that have come along to witness the ultrasound. I am here alone. As I wait for the doctor in my designer paper gown I hear the whooshing of the heartbeat monitor next door. I remember those times though now more than eighteen years ago. How did that time go so fast?

Four pregnancies, three live births I recount again for the doctor. Yes I can laugh without peeing myself and make it to the bathroom on time. “Wahoo You wouldn’t believe how uncommon that is for your age” she remarks. Sigh I’m 43.

It has become more emotional each year and yet I appreciate where I am at. I was fortunate to have that previous stage a few times over. I am there alone but so far everything is routine. There is the other side when the husbands come along because the news is not so good.

I don’t know maybe I’m just emotional because I have to go to the damn dentist next.

Silver

silver

I love you.

I know it is something I say no less than 99 times a day. I so want to take pen to paper and write words that will paint a beautiful picture of heartfelt expression. Though I am just not that articulate. I try but I am never satisfied that I have done justice to my feelings for you. When I say I love you through tears or bursts of giggles know that it is not just something that I say it is something that I feel deep in my soul.

Twenty-five years passed in the blink of an eye. We’ve been through so much and yet I swear it was yesterday we giggled through our wedding vows. I’d do it with you all over again. You have given me a wonderful life.

Celebrating this milestone by fulfilling the promise of the yellow rose was perfect. I know there are plenty of dreams that we have yet to envision. So, here’s to the second twenty-five and may we lay the ground work for the third twenty-five.

I love you Daddy

❤ -p

P.S.  Please don’t kill me for filling your car with balloons. 😉

Childlike Eyes – Nepo

We take joy in and accept a child that sees the world in this manner, however there’s a stigma with an adult that continues to do the same.

I believe this is what Daddy is often looking for when he says I need you to be little. The happiness it brings him just watching me enjoy life.

Mark Nepo The Book of Awakening
December 20

Believing

“Believing is all a child does for a living.”

~ Kurtis Lamkin

Picasso once said that artists are those of us who still see with the eyes of children. Somehow, as we journey into the world, more and more gets in the way, and we stop questioning things in order to move deeper into them and start questioning as a way to challenge things that we fear are false.

As a child I used to talk to things – birds that flew over head, trees that swayed slowly in the night, even stones drying in the sun. For years, though, I stopped doing this freely because of what others might think, and then I stopped altogether. Now I learn that Native Americans do this all the time, that many original peoples believe with their childlike eyes right into the center of things.
Now, almost fifty, I am humbled to recover the wisdom that believing is not a conclusion, but a way into the vitality that waits in everything.

  • When you can, talk with a child about how they see the world.