The welcome letter for the training program I’m starting included a little encouragement. It said “there will be times when you want to be this” – photo of kitten hiding under papers – “and you must chose to be this” – photo of the recent badass Wonder Woman. It is a program geared specifically towards women. 😉
This could not have been more perfect for me. Kitties and my all-time favorite female superhero.
I have mentioned my WW Underoos before.
After possibly mentioning it to Daddy a few times he got me a pair for Christmas. Last week he had me wear them under my clothes to work. 🙂
I’m scared and nervous returning to the classroom after 12 years. I am worried about where I will sit, if I’m the oldest person there and whether people will think my laptop is silly. 🙄 I am bringing a different water bottle other than the My Little Pony one I use even at work. I just can’t bare to be full on me at least not at first but I think I got this because I am Wonder Woman.
“You can do anything”
If you are a little old school. 😉
Cranberries singer Delores O’Riordan died today.
My favorite song and a reflection of my state today. 😞
“Do you know it’s been a few days since I’ve heard you call me Daddy?” “No” that can’t be true. Surely I said it last night as he changed my clothes and got me ready for the little party. “Last night?” “Nope” as he shakes his head. Well I know I have said it in text. “Written or verbal?” “Verbal.”
Hmmm So he needs to hear Daddy as much as I need to hear Babygirl. Wow It amazes me how important this has become for him.
I just love this man’s stuff.
D/s not D/s – as women we can use our femininity to open our man’s heart. Why must you go first and make the effort because it is devotion.
Yesterday the outlook for this year was changed. I was accepted for the training program that starts in twelve days. Since applying my current job has changed dramatically some for the good. I have mixed feelings but I also know it will be completely different if I even have a job when management finishes figuring this all out. Not even sure, I really wanted to pursue this path; I had talked myself into expecting a sense of relief when the rejection arrived. The tears that came when I saw Congratulations, and are still forming when I think about it, are more from fear. Now I have to do this.
I have a hundred “what if” fears and one of them is… What if I can’t be submissive? When life is easy and I have free time and not a lot of stress, it is much easier to surrender to him. As my days have gotten busier at work, I find it harder not to be annoyed by the Hi how are you texts that I DO so truly LOVE. I DO NOT want them to stop. (in case you are reading Daddy) I know I may have to vocalize that I am busy or just take that brief moment in peace that he is reaching out to me.
When I’m stressed, hurt or scared I tend to lash out or close him out. Neither are beneficial, neither are “soft”. I have already mentioned this fear to him and he said he would help me be submissive because he knows that is what I need and makes me happy. Just hearing him say that was a relief. I am hopeful that we have set a good foundation that will aid us in getting through this transition year. Soft is gonna be a whole lot harder than I anticipated.
me: Oww Oww Oww (crawling across the bed) Daddy I got a bruise. (pulls up pants leg)
D: All I see is your knee.
me: I got a BIG bruise right there.
D: What from?
me: I have no idea.
I know it wasn’t from anything fun.
I don’t think anyone gets off getting their shins beat.
OH OH baby hit me in the shin again!
D: I’m going to bed.
For 2017 I chose Reconnect as my word of intention. I have to give myself a failing grade on that one. I never once got together with my old high school friend, I missed getting several birthday cards in the mail, I’m not even sure if I sent my grandmother a birthday card. Sigh 😦 I am going to attempt this again this year. No reason to give up because I’ve chosen a new focus for the new year.
In 2018 I am going to focus on Soft. It is a term that I come across a lot lately. Someone I follow on fb even teaches a course by that name. For me it is embracing my femininity. There is always a time and a place but I believe that we don’t always have to be “hard” to compete with a man. I think feminine qualities are needed in daily life for balance.
I decided on this word yesterday. Daddy was getting grumpy as the end of our vacation time is quickly approaching. I was pissed that he was getting that way and I wanted to go off on him. Fortunately I like to think before I speak and Soft popped into my head. So I took him by the hand and brought him in the bedroom and had him lay down with his head in my lap. I stroked his head and put another hand in his shirt so I could touch his skin. “I can’t do this for the next three days.” I said in a calm tone. We talked a little and it didn’t totally change his mood but it softened his energy.
It is easiest to embrace the soft parts of me with Daddy but I am curious to see how I can use it in other relationships.
Happy New Year and don’t forget…