I Can Be Wonder Woman

The welcome letter for the training program I’m starting included a little encouragement. It said “there will be times when you want to be this” – photo of kitten hiding under papers – “and you must chose to be this” – photo of the recent badass Wonder Woman. It is a program geared specifically towards women. 😉

This could not have been more perfect for me.  Kitties and my all-time favorite female superhero.

I have mentioned my WW Underoos before.

After possibly mentioning it to Daddy a few times he got me a pair for Christmas. Last week he had me wear them under my clothes to work. 🙂

I’m scared and nervous returning to the classroom after 12 years. I am worried about where I will sit, if I’m the oldest person there and whether people will think my laptop is silly. 🙄 I am bringing a different water bottle other than the My Little Pony one I use even at work. I just can’t bare to be full on me at least not at first but I think I got this because I am Wonder Woman.

“You can do anything”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2i1D_rqMWI

If you are a little old school. 😉

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwMOC5i2eRk&feature=youtu.be

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He Needs To Hear It

“Do you know it’s been a few days since I’ve heard you call me Daddy?” “No” that can’t be true. Surely I said it last night as he changed my clothes and got me ready for the little party. “Last night?” “Nope” as he shakes his head. Well I know I have said it in text. “Written or verbal?” “Verbal.”  

Hmmm So he needs to hear Daddy as much as I need to hear Babygirl. Wow It amazes me how important this has become for him. 

2018 a Challenge to my Submission?

Yesterday the outlook for this year was changed. I was accepted for the training program that starts in twelve days. Since applying my current job has changed dramatically some for the good. I have mixed feelings but I also know it will be completely different if I even have a job when management finishes figuring this all out. Not even sure, I really wanted to pursue this path; I had talked myself into expecting a sense of relief when the rejection arrived. The tears that came when I saw Congratulations, and are still forming when I think about it, are more from fear. Now I have to do this.

I have a hundred “what if” fears and one of them is… What if I can’t be submissive? When life is easy and I have free time and not a lot of stress, it is much easier to surrender to him. As my days have gotten busier at work, I find it harder not to be annoyed by the Hi how are you texts that I DO so truly LOVE. I DO NOT want them to stop. (in case you are reading Daddy) I know I may have to vocalize that I am busy or just take that brief moment in peace that he is reaching out to me.

When I’m stressed, hurt or scared I tend to lash out or close him out. Neither are beneficial, neither are “soft”. I have already mentioned this fear to him and he said he would help me be submissive because he knows that is what I need and makes me happy. Just hearing him say that was a relief. I am hopeful that we have set a good foundation that will aid us in getting through this transition year. Soft is gonna be a whole lot harder than I anticipated.

Conversations… Hit Me Again

me: Oww Oww Oww (crawling across the bed) Daddy I got a bruise. (pulls up pants leg)

D: All I see is your knee.

me: I got a BIG bruise right there.

D: What from?

me: I have no idea.
I know it wasn’t from anything fun.
I don’t think anyone gets off getting their shins beat.
OH OH baby hit me in the shin again!

D: I’m going to bed.

2018 Word of Intention & 2017 Recap

For 2017 I chose Reconnect  as my word of  intention.  I have to give myself a failing grade on that one. I never once got together with my old high school friend, I missed getting several birthday cards in the mail, I’m not even sure if I sent my grandmother a birthday card.  Sigh 😦   I am going to attempt this again this year. No reason to give up because I’ve chosen a new focus for the new year.

 
soft2

In 2018 I am going to focus on Soft. It is a term that I come across a lot lately. Someone I follow on fb even teaches a course by that name. For me it is embracing my femininity. There is always a time and a place but I believe that we don’t always have to be “hard” to compete with a man. I think feminine qualities are needed in daily life for balance.

I decided on this word yesterday. Daddy was getting grumpy as the end of our vacation time is quickly approaching. I was pissed that he was getting that way and I wanted to go off on him. Fortunately I like to think before I speak and Soft popped into my head. So I took him by the hand and brought him in the bedroom and had him lay down with his head in my lap. I stroked his head and put another hand in his shirt so I could touch his skin. “I can’t do this for the next three days.” I said in a calm tone. We talked a little and it didn’t totally change his mood but it softened his energy.

It is easiest to embrace the soft parts of me with Daddy but I am curious to see how I can use it in other relationships.

Happy New Year  and don’t forget…

th