Fear

I keep circling back to this fear that I’m dragging him down a path that he doesn’t want to go.

I will be fine for a while and then bam I’m back to freaking out that he doesn’t want this. The fact that he will do anything for me and is willing to try this is great but it also keeps me wondering what if he just won’t say no. 

When I ask him he says yes he still wants to do this. I mean sex any time he wants and no nagging. Who wouldn’t?! However he also says he can live without it. What he is attached to is the connection it has brought us. He said he never would have thought that one of us being in control would bring us so much closer together. He’s right. I couldn’t give that up.

So why does this keeps coming up? Fear of losing it? Fear I’m really still in control?

I need to stop worrying and just see where the path takes us. Where he leads us. 

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