I’m lying on you but neither of us is talking or moving. It’s not feeling like a connection. I know what I want. I want you to flip me over pin me down and have your way. I think you’re tired though. That’s fine just dismiss me if there will be no playtime. The longer this goes on my head goes running. We are falling into old habits. A stale mate. No one ones to make the first move. At this point I always got pissed off and left.
I’m screaming in my head. Just do something!!!
“Do you want me to leave?”
“You don’t have to stay back here.” My que there will be no playtime.
I know he didn’t know any of this was going on. It’s just my mind going crazy. I can’t stand the slightest bit of indecisiveness. It takes me back there and I hate it. Every day I realize more and more how much I’ve always wanted him to step up and decide or take charge. I know I didn’t give those clues. I didn’t recognize it myself.