Deal With It

So in all of this I need to learn how to deal with Daddy’s anger, disappointment or frustration with me. I had been unprepared to handle this. I had wrongly assumed that taking on the role of a Dom meant he shouldn’t be angry because he is supposed to be in control of his emotions. Well he can be in control of them and still feel them.

I have a difficult time dealing with emotional displays. Good or bad. Even ball games can make me uncomfortable. I guess that’s a result of stuffing it down and not dealing with it.

I don’t want to cry in front of anyone other than him and I cannot tell someone I’m angry with them.

In the past Daddy would hide his anger from me or even if I knew he was angry we didn’t talk about it. Silence was the usual means of operation and meaningful constructive talks about the issue were rare if at all.

So open honest communication is great until I have to cope with things I don’t want to. 


7 thoughts on “Deal With It

  1. Open, honest communication is great. But, it’s also hard. But, most things that are worth doing or having don’t come easy. Hang in there and try to keep the door to communication open. It’s definitely better to work through emotions than to stuff them. Ask me how I know. lol Maybe think about some strategies that might help you deal with emotions. (((hugs)))

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I promise it gets easier! Just like most things along this journey and in life in general, practice! The more you communicate, the more you’ll learn and understand about one another, and yourselves. And, the best part is that you’ll just deepen your connection along the way! You’ll gain strength from that, she it will help you in dealing with those emotions, even learning how to communicate when others have hurt you.

    I can very much relate. As I felt more and more raw in the letting go process, I felt similarly. It’s still raw at times, but I have more tools in my tool box, as does M, and I know better when and how to ask for help.

    Hugs to you,

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Totally agree with Kay, Tora. It takes practice and learning to accept these feelings as they surface, how to work through them and release them. It’s a bit of a Pandora’s Box at the beginning as things that used to be overlooked, avoided or redirected are suddenly just there to be dealt with.

    It will get easier and you will become freer along the way – both of you! It’s an amazing journey for sure but the only way out to the freedom is through the mess the hid in the corners for years.

    Love you,

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The best and worst thing about this lifestyle is no more hiding. You made a terrific point that it also includes him. Realizing that his emotions will still be there too is BIG. That’s a great inroad on this journey, sweetie. There is good news up ahead. The more you both share your real selves, the more you really get to know each other. Those episodes of rawness start to lessen as you both live more authentically. He will have less to be upset by as you learn what he needs from you. You will have less uncertainty as well. Hugs, TP (giggles)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes I need to try to look at it more objectively in the moment. My natural reaction is to be hurt and think it’s all over. Even right down to the marriage. Which is stupid but that’s how much I spiral out of control.

    I am more confident than ever that we will get there. 🙂


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