“I love you”

Know that these words do not come easy for me.

I have only recently been able to return the words to my father and it’s not something my mother and I exchange. Mostly because she does not say it first. As awful as it sounds it’s only in the last couple years that I have been able to say it to our kids and again it’s because they made the first move. It was easy when they were little but as they got older it became difficult. At times when they catch me off guard it is still awkward for me.

So know when it seems it I tell you a hundred times a day there is so much more behind the words. I really feel it and it just flows so freely with you. I love you Daddy. 💗

Advertisements

18 thoughts on ““I love you”

  1. Yeah, I can’t remember my own mother ever saying “I love you” to me, and I fucking remember everything, I remember getting lost on a cruise ship during my paternal grandmother’s bon voyage party when she went on her cruise to the bahamas (I was four and a half years old at the time), I remember my cousin John looking up my dress when he was five and I was seven, I remember everything and my own mother never said she loved me…but there’s a reason for that, and I know what that reason is. My mother does a lot of things, but she doesn’t lie, and I guess I should be grateful she never told me she loves me and later found out that she said it just to say it, that it was a lie. So, if nothing else, I admire the woman’s honesty. A lot of other things about her confuse the fuck out of me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So, back to comment more seriously: I understand what you feel. I think the first time my mom said I love you to me was last year, and I can’t seem to remember hearing it again since. I’m not sure my dad has ever said these words to me.
    It does hurt, and does make it harder to say it to others.
    One of the good things about my ex is that he taught me it was important to say these words to my kids and now my teenager complains that I say it too often!
    But it is something that I find so important to tell them.
    However, you read my last post I think. This time, it was hard *not* to say the words. It was hard to keep them inside, because I do love this man with a depth I had never experienced before.
    I’m happy for you and for your Daddy that you feel it and are able to express it too 🙂
    XO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Its funny because my mom will tell the story all the time of me saying it all the time when I was a toddler. At some point it became hard though.
      I did read your post. 🙂 Yes there are times it’s just bursting to come out.
      I am very happy for you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I used to sing and jump around saying I’m happy as a young teen. It changed and no one took notice. :-/
        Thank you for being happy… I am too 😉
        Now… just waiting to hear from him, in one way or another. I don’t expect a reply to that particular text, but I’d love to just read from him, to know that he hasn’t changed his mind 🙂

        Like

  3. Aww, princess I’m so happy that you feel this way towards your daddy! Happy happy 💕 you gotta say it to your kids though, they are never too old to need to hear that. Break that legacy from your own parents…be the grown up and say it first. Be vulnerable… 😘

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s