I need clear and honest communication to keep my brain from filling in the blanks with incorrect assumptions. I think that could be one of the biggest causes of my roller coaster emotions. 

I want to know your thoughts on things. I don’t want you to just go along with what I say without a discussion. 

I need to know that when I do express myself honestly and respectfully you will not shut me out because of it.


Yes this person that hates being told what to do and bores of routine so quickly NEEDS it. Wants it, craves it even. ONLY from you though. I will do my best to remember things on my own but I need reminders. Things often pass because I just don’t think of them. Not busy work or tasks just to be told to do something. Things that mean something to you or me.  


The inconsistency in your moods is the other thing that really throws me for a loop. I know there are good days and bad days. There can be bad days without me feeling like you have completely shut me out. When you don’t look at me, barely talk to me and seem annoyed when I touch you it cuts VERY deep. I am sensitive I get that. Help me develop a way of dealing with times you don’t feel well. “I need space. It is not you. Could you please color me a picture while I have some time alone?” It may sound silly to you but I need that assurance.


I would like to know that you are doing things to develop skills or ideas in the D/s. I know time is an issue. I am trying to be patient and it helps to see that there is some progress being made and that someday we will get to things I would like to try. I know that some of these are things that you have to learn how to do them safely before we try them. Reading books, blogs, watching videos or chatting/emailing others. I can’t be the only one to do these things. It also shows you are interested in what we are doing. 

I love you and I don’t want you to think I don’t love you as you are. I want to improve on how we interact. I also want to try new things. 


8 thoughts on “Needs

  1. I can’t comment on most things here because it’s nit me. But… communication. I know it’s nice to get this reassurance. Thing is: you don’t really need it. I promise. You don’t. It’s so freeing when you can live without thinking that whatever happens (or doesn’t) is because of you. It’s not easy to do, but if you get to the point where you assume the best (he’s got something on his mind. It’s not me or our relationship that is the problem)… it gets easier!
    Sorry, I’m on my phone. I may not have managed to convey what I mean properly…

    but expressing your needs is a good start: it allows *you* to see what they are. And then *you* can work on them from your side too 🙂
    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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