I tend to get worked up reading erotica. Ok well Duh! But that isn’t how I mean. While I’m reading it and for a bit after while the story is still floating in my head I can get a little down. I am bad about comparing my life to everyone else. I know it’s a horrible habit and quite ridiculous to compare to erotic fiction.

Lately I have been reading quite a few that involve more than one man usually brothers. This last one was three brothers. HOT.

Daddy – if you read this don’t even go there. Not even insinuating that – seriously WEIRD they are my brothers too at this point.

More than one man is a hot fantasy and in another life yes I’d do it. However I know the two of us and I know neither of us is secure enough to see the other with another. I wouldn’t risk our relationship for anything. I do get hung up in the fantasy when reading these things and I thought it was the act of a third that so drew me to these stories. However I don’t think it is. I believe what draws me is the attention. In the stories what I am addicted to is the constant attention given to the female’s protection as well as the sexual attention. More than one male ups that factor. It isn’t the actual act of multiple men at one time that I crave, although I’m not saying it wouldn’t totally be a benefit, it is the intensity of the attention given. Ultimately the non-stop attention is unrealistic. We have jobs and kids and other obligations.

I’m not a person that craves everyone’s attention. I’m happy to blend in to the background at times. Now his attention I crave. I could be with this man 24/7 and not get enough. Another benefit of the power exchange is that I feel I am more in the forefront of his thoughts. I am getting that attention like never before.

I’m hoping identifying the real reason why I am drawn to these stories and why I feel down after reading them will help. It’s not really the thought of missing out on a different experience as much as it is a deep desire for more of his attention. 

Deep down I’m just a little attention whore.


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