I don’t stand up for myself. I do NOT like confrontation. I’d rather stew about it privately or stuff it down and ignore it. The few times I speak up are usually always related to my children. The mama bear will come out. My father is similar in is avoidance of confrontation. He however does not seem to have the papa bear in him. I’ve ignored it for many years when my mom has made remarks of him not standing up for us with his current wife. I’ve became defensive when Daddy has said his actions choose his stepchildren over my sister and I. I’ve ignored it. I sat there cold and expressionless as he gave a toast at my step-sister’s wedding about the family you choose.
My sister has been wanting to host the entire family at her house for a holiday. Holidays have been held at different homes of the step-siblings but not either of ours. She began in July asking for Christmas and was refused. My step-mother suggested she host Oktoberfest. No we do not celebrate Oktoberfest.
We recently received a group text about Easter and it was pointed out that Easter was my step-sisters designated holiday to host. Well that was news to us and really felt like a complete dig at my sister. I’ve sat on responding for two weeks now. I avoid conflict. I let my sister handle it. She does well telling people off and I’d rather stand behind her. After thinking about it I really want to say something. It’s time I back her up and say just how unfair I really think this is. In text of course I’m not brave enough to do it in person. 😉
I told Daddy that I really wanted to respond this way. Then I asked him if he would still love me. Of course he will. He said I knew his thoughts on that part of the family and that he supported anything I wanted. He said that in the past if he would have said anything it would have started problems between us. I responded that something has changed in me this last year. He said “I know.”
I sent my response and now I’m shaking. lol I’m such a chicken.
* My sister excitedly thanked me and my oldest said Damn Mom. ☺️