I’m stuck with something that I am determined to get past. This journey has been very much about figuring out who I am and why I react the way I do. So forgive me as I write it out maybe again. 😉
I still haven’t figured out how I can be envious of something I don’t want. It sounds really stupid. I can be tore up about not participating in something I know I would hate if I had to go. WTF?!? I think I am envious of the concept but not the details. The who (aside from 1) and the what of the details would put me so far out of my comfort level I would be sick. So why does it occupy my thoughts? I know I have issues with feeling left out but it’s not something that I would have fun at. I believe part of me is upset with myself that I wouldn’t enjoy it. Like “normal” people would have a good time and I wouldn’t fit in. Probably it there – the desire to fit in. I know I wouldn’t and that upsets me.
G – I hope it was everything you dreamed. Your excitement could be felt all of the way over here.