We went to dinner with one kid in tow. I had hoped we were going out alone. It was a noisy “family” restaurant with 1,945 televisions. I counted. We were sat at a square table which means no booth snuggling. The a/c was on high enough for a polar bear. My chicken was breaded with salt. blech I was not succeeding in keeping the Bitch at bay. I was fighting the tears. I did eventually pull my chair around the corner so I could be closer to him and he could lay his hand on my leg. I just needed his touch. That alone is so soothing. I don’t know why but hand holding doesn’t cut it.
When we got home I was hoping he would tell me to put my pj’s on but instead he said “Go get things ready for a bath.” I did so and I wasn’t sure if he was coming in or not because he doesn’t like to take baths. He did, though, and he held me and washed me.
I asked him if this part was easy for him meaning telling me to go get a bath ready and surprisingly he said “No. I was worried. What if you said no?”. He said he had tried a few things over the last couple days to pull me out of this and they didn’t work.
So this still isn’t easy for him and I bet the times it is the hardest is when I am in a pissed off funk. That is when I want him to go against his nature and push me. He has improved a lot so time will tell just how far he can stretch that ability. Once again I have to remember that he is growing too.