I am so ever fucking grateful that Daddy and I have been able to re-write our “bad tapes” as John and Kayla call it. We have been together twenty-three years and are both making huge progress in changing the way we interact with one another.
He has always been the one and I thought I put him first in everything I did but I know now that I truly did not. I’m not afraid to admit that. I did not realize how MY actions kept us from the intimacy that I truly desired.
Turning to D/s made me think before acting. It gave me guidelines and made it unacceptable to react to him in the way I had previously. It also made me take an effort to look at how and why I reacted the way I did. I reached out and sought help from others. Other than a few times with professional counseling I haven’t spoken to anyone in depth about our marriage or relationship. This last year has done WAY more than the professional counseling ever did.
Those things were not done because he said so. It was work done by me. I have had to become the submissive to encourage his dominance. I had to prove I wanted and would follow his lead. It’s still a work in progress. I know I will falter but I also know I can do it.
“Such a beautiful surrender.” – control by mutemath