Learning Our Way

  
We are learning this as we go and as much as I read Daddy equally does not. Lol It bothered me BAD in the beginning. Occasionally now I get a twinge of jealousy but honestly he is doing amazing on his own. Yes things might be moving at a quicker pace if he was into the reading and planning but he likes to figure stuff out on his own and the slower pace means our changes stick.

Last night I really needed some little time. All of the graduation festivities are over and I just wanted to color. After dinner was cleaned up I asked Daddy if I could put my pj’s on. We have no rule where I have to do that. Daddy is very relaxed and mostly lets me do as I want. So when I feel the need for some control I ask for permission to do things. I don’t need to get it but I want it. Last night when I asked he said “Yes but I want to approve them first.” That was new. 🙂 So I got out a pair and he approved them. I asked if I could color next to him while he worked. “Yes go get a book and I will pick out a page.” He picked a page and I colored on my blanket next to him. When I showed him my finished work he praised it as usual and then said “Would you like a sticker?” :O Oh Hell Yes!! “YES!” “Ok go pick one but bring it to me first. Don’t stick it yet.” I ran to the sticker bin while holding my boobs. You can’t run with no bra on. It hurts. 😉 I grabbed a sheet of shiny foil hearts and ran back (while holding the boobs). I showed it to him and he asked which one I wanted. “All of them” I grinned. He pointed to one and said “I like that one.” So I peeled that one off and started to put it over my nipple and he shook his head No. I put it higher on my shirt. 

My excited reactions were obvious positive reinforcement for his efforts but this morning I also texted him thanking him for last night. He asked “The coloring?”. I told him I liked him approving my pj’s, and picking my coloring page and the sticker.

Ask for what you want and give positive reinforcement. You are the best teacher for your relationship.

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11 thoughts on “Learning Our Way

  1. Yes, that’s what I’ve been sort of figuring out with The Dancer too.
    If something doesn’t work for me, I need to tell him, and explain why it’s important to me. And also, if he does do something that works for me (or more than works for me, like yesterday), even (or especially?) when it makes him uncomfortable (did I get to write about our last time together? No, not yesterday, though it would have been similar), I try to tell him how much I appreciate it.
    Now, let’s see how much this works. Though it’s been working more or less for a year or so. 🙂

    Which, by the way (the explaining what works for me) is also why I was fine with him not wanting my gift back in February. Because if he feels free enough to tell me what makes him feel uncomfortable, then it also means (because he is who he is) that *I* can tell him what makes *me* feel uncomfortable.
    This is invaluable!

    Thank you for this post!
    XO

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “So I peeled that one off and started to put it over my nipple and he shook his head No. I put it higher on my shirt. ”

    Loved this, LOL. Your Daddy rocks 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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