I think I found my “in” in regards to speaking with my daughter. It is probably best to break down the things I want her to think about it smaller topics and not just dump on her all the ways I think she is wrong. Lol Yeah generally NOT a good idea.

I think I will begin with respect. I thought I knew what this meant but I know now that I really did not in terms of how I was treating Daddy.

I found this article that I will send her first. 

The Five Respect Needs of Men

It sums it up with five ways that we can show respect or disrespect to our men. 

#1 is respecting their judgment Last night she said that her fiance is getting a lot of grief over their decision to get married. These are two very smart kids that upon reaching their goals will both have doctorate degrees. He is being treated like he is irrational and irresponsible. 

I will point out how he doesn’t feel his judgement is being respected and how he really needs to know that his future wife has his back. Possibly a gentle nudge to maybe look at ways she may not be showing respect in some of these forms. 

I may point out ways I was not respecting her father and how I have worked to change them. I know that the kids can tell things are different between Daddy and I. I feel the need to point out the reasons but I feel I will have to leave the submission talk out. Most of the things are not exclusive to D/s. They are things that should be a part of any relationship. D/s is just the vessel that made me see them. If I bring up submission this kid will tune me out or yell about sexist traditions. So much like her mother. I have to try to undo some of what I’ve done. 


3 thoughts on “R E S P E C T

  1. I enjoyed reading what you wrote. I agree that men need to feel respect and that we don’t always know how to show it.
    However, I also had a hard time reading this article because, well, because of my history. Reading it, I keep thinking back to how I could have behaved differently. And then I am reminded that this man never showed ME any respect. No respect for what I did, for who I am. And it makes it really hard not to read this article as someone telling me I didn’t try hard enough.
    Yes, I probably talked about all the things he did behind his back. I needed a place to unburden myself. Because otherwise I would have burst.
    And so, when I read such an article, I think “Where does it state that you should respect yourself before you respect him?” Or at least as much? Because some women also need o hear this, not just the “be respectful of your husband”, but the “make sure you are respected”.
    Both are equally important in a relationship. And too often these sorts of articles are too one sided for my liking.

    This one is relatively more balanced than many I’ve read, but… still, I had that uneasy feeling when I read it.

    On a different note: I think you are right not to dump it all on her at once. And you are right, no need to go into the D/s thing.

    Good luck with the talks!

    Liked by 1 person

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