Letting Go Peacefully

My tag line says a journey into D/s but more than anything this has been a journey about personal growth. Exploring why I am the way I am and learning to change what I don’t like. Once again I’ve been presented with a means of looking at my own insecurities and a choice in handling it. You know what? It is not fucking easy! Growth better watch it or it will become the new “P word”. 

I’ve been dwelling over the likelihood that I have lost a friend. I waited for her to come to me. After weeks I made a general FB post that if she saw she would know was for her. Not even a like, though there is the possibility she didn’t see it. So I sent a little message just a comment on what she was doing. I was testing the waters without addressing the issue. I have had no response. 

Yesterday I realized that I am looking at this from my perspective only. If I push my hurt aside I can see that I have put her in a bad position. I am up against someone that will make her choose. There is no logical reason it should be me. I am one to the many. We have never met in person. They have. More people are involved than just her and I. I can accept it. It stings but I can wish her well and mean it. 

I sent her one last message letting her know this. I was going to post it here and hope she read it. A way of avoiding it. No I have to be direct. I sent it via pm. 

Now I move on knowing the choices I’ve made are my own just as hers are her own. I am wondering if I should remove her from my FB. For my own sake because it’s just a constant reminder.  

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13 thoughts on “Letting Go Peacefully

  1. oh sister, it’s so hard to let go.
    Sometimes though, it’s not about us and our best interests but what’s best for all parties involved.
    Letting to go of something that we desire with all our hearts hurts. i know, i am struggling with that decision now as i sit in his hotel room. But know this, ever one comes to us at just the right times. They are meant to be in our lives if only for a moment. When they are gone we miss them, but that just means the memories we made with them are just THAT much more special.
    you are in my thoughts and i wish you well. Always!
    Thank you for writing this. It is a profound moment in growth when we realize that the best thing to do is to set something free and move on.
    No matter how hard it is.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’ve always believed that the majority of people who pass through our lives are there for the season we need them.

    They are the hosts and hostesses of each new phase of experience. We enjoy the learning and then bow when it’s time to move to the next level.

    Those meant to come with, will come with.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Grieve for the friendship that was lost, keep the good memories and leave the negative behind. I think you are amazing and I know I’m better off for knowing you for however long that may be (which I hope is a long while). Hugs & Hearts, Beth

    Liked by 1 person

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