No doubt there are times I lose it. I am usually good at keeping most of that in my head or maybe a text or chat message to a sub friend. 😉 I have noticed how much softer my inner dialogue is now. “That Bitch” is really more a hurt or pouty babygirl when my patience runs thin. I mostly hear from the Angel of Patience that points out that He is doing his best and he really is the best for me.
For many the weekends are when the heavy play takes place but for us the weekends are often sparse. In my opinion when he gets to rest it actually has the opposite effect. His body just drains and he feels worse. This weekend there was no play. There was also NO temper tantrums or pissy babygirls.
I went to bed (and stayed!) with him Friday night and got to snuggle in his arms. Saturday he took me on the errands I needed to do. When I asked why he wanted to go with me he said that he hadn’t felt like he had spent enough time with me. I’m still beaming over that. Sunday he felt the worse and I waited on him for whatever he needed. I sewed next to him while he watched tv and it was just a nice weekend being in his presence.
This is not a fantasy. This is a journey in which there is no destination.