What Goes Up

It is rather a given that if I boast about how well I am doing a melt-down is inevitably around the corner. I should learn to keep my mouth shut. πŸ˜‰ No I do understand that it is just life. Rise and fall and I will not always be on the upswing. 

I get frustrated with Daddy for not stopping it. His thought is usually to just let it work it’s course. At least now I can spin it out in a matter of a couple hours. Yesterday in under two hours the dam broke and I was laying on him crying as I just let it go. 

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19 thoughts on “What Goes Up

  1. Sometimes, the ones who care for us, about us, don’t know how to fix something, or even don’t want to take on that responsibility, for various reasons. Maybe he knows that letting you take care of it will empower you and it will make it easier for you to control it next time. Maybe he knows that if he steps in, he’ll grow resentful that he’s always the one who needs to fix everything and, just this once, he doesn’t have the energy and doesn’t want to start resenting you?
    Maybe he wants to show you he trusts you to find your own solution, knowing his may not be the best one for you? Maybe he wants you to realise that ‘not fixing things’ for you doesn’t mean ‘not being there’ for you and that you can trust him to always be there to support you, even when he doesn’t fix it for you? (Shown by you crying it out in his arms)

    Maybe like a good parent, he is trying to find the right balance of support and help so that you get to lead YOUR life without feeling frustrated that someone tells you how to lead it?

    I know how helpful it’s been for me that The Dancer doesn’t try to tell me what to do, how and when. I couldn’t stand someone trying to control me and/or my life. But I never doubt that he is on my side and will comfort me, let me bounce things off him and so on if I need to.

    I remember once, when I could feel that I was on the verge of a big good cry, how I warned him I may just let go and sob in his arms, and he replied something along the lines of ‘if that’s what you need’ and held me while I lost it. I didn’t need to tell him what that cry was about, I didn’t need him to fix anything. What I needed was a safe place where I could stop being so strong all the time. With someone who I knew wouldn’t judge me.

    To me, that’s the best support I can get πŸ™‚

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      • I understand. But he was there, and you were able to stop the spiraling by yourself πŸ™‚

        Maybe by him not stepping in quite as often, you get better at dealing with it and then both of you can worry less when you’re apart?

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      • Life is a long list of learning experiences. At least now you’re thinking back on it and see what you could have done differently, why things were the way they were and not any other way. This alone is huge progress! Lookung at it from the point of view of trying to understand as opposed to assigning blame… it’s huge!

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  2. Sometimes, we need the break down to release the pressure. When you fight the unwinding fight every time it’s draining. But when you let it happen and then reset, you can feel like your winning. I mean, your getting better at controlling it and stronger from the experience….progress is always hard.

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  3. Would he be able to stop it? Would you let him? Or was allowing you to cry on him and let it go and showing you over time that was how you should manage it his way of stopping it? I think it is easy to forget how far we have actually come. Often the spiral can last for days or longer so actually I think if you were done and dusted in two hours that is pretty amazing. Like you say – rise and fall is normal but that sounds like a power rise and fall to me lol. Good job to you and your Daddy.

    Liked by 1 person

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