Today I’m just pissed. What pisses me off is that people may have the wrong impression of me and that I did something that I didn’t do. It should not matter. I don’t know these people in person. I’m just pissed that I may be judged on wrong information.
I would like two things known.
- I never gave information about our discussions to the other party. However, when confronted by the other party with quotes from those discussions in an open forum in front of many others, I was honest.
- I had no malicious intent to hurt or harm anyone or their business.
Did I look behind the curtain? You bet your ass I did. If you give the appearance of being all powerful and all knowing I’m gonna look. Am I gonna call you publicly on your bull shit? Nope that isn’t me. Plus I know it will make no difference. I want to know for my own purpose. I want to know in my own mind it isn’t real. In talking with others I will say Do you believe this shit? Only if I get the impression first that they indeed don’t believe it either.
Multiple sides here but in the end I was the only one in the group ousted. I really can’t wrap my brain around that other than to assume I was the intended target. I dared to look behind the curtain. I refuse to pretend the Oz is all powerful. I submit only for Daddy.
More than anything this whole journey is about Growth. I will push past it. I know I cannot control others perceptions of me. I can’t say I don’t care because that isn’t who I am. I don’t need a large circle or entourage. I’ve found a few good friends I can share this side of me with. Even if they all fell away Daddy is the ONE that matters.