Chasing A “Lifestyle”

I think my biggest issues have come from feeling inadequate when comparing myself to those projecting a lifestyle image. It is silly because dressed up however you like, it really isn’t us. It does not fulfil my purpose of finding a better path for us. Measuring him against others does not serve him. My interest lies in figuring out who I am and changing my reactions that have stood in the way of connecting with him on a level we both desire.

Rita has said many times she was not looking for a “lifestyle”. I don’t think it has clicked until now that that has been my issue over and over in this. I have been guilty of chasing it and simultaneously resisting it. Rita is so wise. 😉


11 thoughts on “Chasing A “Lifestyle”

  1. We were never chasing a lifestyle, although one seems to come out it. After altering how we interact, increasing politness, and reducing negativity, we branched and began to try new things and enjoy a wider berth of activities. Finding what is unique to your dynamic and where you want to take it is an exciting part D/s. If something is not pleasing, by all means discuss with your Dom and see how you can reshape life together. I agree completely that the idea of an ideal D/s to reach is fallacy and a boring one at that. Some sites with limited knowledge teach one way and attempt to force it on everyone. – Beast

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  2. I agree with you princess. All of our relationships are different as we are all different. I don’t think it is ever a good thing to judge yourselves or others based on someone else’s definition of how a particular lifestyle should be. There is so much excellent writing out there from people in different dynamics all making things work for them. I think that it is helpful to read and share and take the parts that you think would suit and make them work for you. I don’t believe in one true way. My way works for me as your works for you. I also think that a relationship is an evolving thing so to follow what someone else does will not be at the right pace or direction for you. It is great that you are carving out your own lifestyle and are no longer feeling the need to try to be something you are not. Woohoo 🙂

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  3. I think it should be more about chasing a LOVEstyle that fits our relationship. Once we can get to that place in our heads, we cease being concerned about what others might think. I think this is distinctly different from those who are pursuing D/s who might not be married. We have already committed to our relationships, therefore we are just adjusting our methods of interaction to be more productive to increase intimacy.

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  4. I relate to this so much! It is difficult enough to find your own path without comparison, but add that into the mix, and well, it can create barriers. This was so good for me to read, thank you for the insight 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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