Vulnerable

I am not an outgoing person at all. In the last year and a half I have really put myself out here.

I have shared things in posts and chat that I would never share with anyone other than Daddy. It is easier to be myself through the computer.

Lately I’ve been feeling quite vulnerable and I feel myself shrinking in.

When I started the blog I didn’t expect many followers but I hoped to make some connections like I saw through the comment sections in other blogs. The response has been great and I’ve met some wonderful people. I am getting more followers that don’t comment and have very different types of blogs. I often wonder what part interests them. It is great that something resonates with them but I’m feeling a little bit on display. My own doing I know. I don’t really want to take it private because I am open to meeting new people. So for the time being I will leave it.

Facebook is a similar thing. I have met a few during this that I connected either my real or sub account and now we no longer have any communication. When there is not a comment or even a like during some significant life events then I feel you are just lurking. I felt exposed so I removed them.

I guess I feel I ran into the room and broadcasted everything. Now I feel myself pulling back. The trick is not to leave or hide but to stick with a closer circle. I need a little bit of exposure. I need to be able to talk to those that love and listen.

I needed the messages checking in on me when I said I was struggling a bit. 🙂 thank you ❤️

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “Vulnerable

  1. I go through this frequently. It is a cycle with me. I’ve considered making our blog private many times. I think in the blogging world, especially in this genre you have to consider some followers are no longer in the lifestyle or simply stopped keeping up with WordPress. I stay public because of the few connections I have made through this process are worth it. I get it though. Putting it all out there opens yourself up to everything and that’s scary sometimes, especially with something real and raw. I do hope you stay public. 🙂 -belle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Maybe to those who are not commenting but following you, need your words? There is definitely something here in your blog that appeals. You’re openness and honesty in everything you write is endearing and so charming. I know it has to be hard from your position, and I gather from your writing that you would never call yourself a leader. But in some ways you are. Especially to those of us who are stumbling around trying to make heads or tails of our lives.
    To me, your sharing is our dot on the horizon even if only through words- there’s a connection felt that helps me not to feel so alone or crazy.
    It’s not that you’re on display, you’re sharing, and that is so brave of you!
    I’m sure I’m not the only who appreciates you putting yourself out there. Its comforting to read I’m not alone in the things I might think and feel that are similar to your situation, and it is such a wonderful gift that you give us.
    Thank you.
    Us quite ones may not always say something, or more like it, we don’t know how to say and articulate what we would like to say. But your contribution to this community is priceless, and I would miss you if you went private.
    hugs*

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Sorry I wasn’t there. I’m in a bit of a struggle myself at the time, but with little time and no computer available, which makes it harder to communicate. Or I needed to take a step back on focus on what was happening rather than on sharing it? I’m not sure.
    Any how… sending love your way.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sweet gentle one… it is treasures like you and Belle that have helped me find myself – to live in a world without you would be heart breaking. I know that I have been quiet for sometime, but know my dear one that I treasure you will all my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have to say I found you a while ago, commented then some how ‘lost’ you. Sorry about that. I have been blogging for almost 4 years, and I will tell you that the feelings you have don’t ever really go away. AT least for me. I find it a little difficult with wordpress ( as I use blogger) to get used to because people can just ‘like’ what you write and there ‘appears’ to be less comments. I suppose though you do know who is reading.

    Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I completely understand your emotions surrounding this post. They are perfectly normal. In addition, I do this some ways it does help with our own personal vulnerabilities and transparency here if we struggle with our openness publicly.

    As for feeling ‘stupid’ and commenting, let me tell you a bit about ‘us’. We started out as a Dd couple, which is a form of D/s, just a ‘lessor’ degree if you will. We morphed without knowing it into what many categorize as a D/s relationship. That being said, I don’t have ‘protocols’ I don’t capitalize ‘H’ for him or his. I don’t refer to my husband ( often anyway) as Sir (only if a situation moves me) or Master. Yet here I am. Why? Because at the heart of all of this truly is growth towards a more fulfilling relationship and the self awareness that is needed to get there. I have always felt that way concerning my blog, as some of my readers are ‘vanilla’ but I came to fully realize this years ago when I met a couple, who have now become my most treasured friends who are in a TPE. She and I can relate so deeply to each other, because at our core we are very similar, and the 4 of us all desire the same connection in our relationships. The only thing that varies is how we attempt to achieve that.

    Best of luck trying to feel secure with ‘being out there’ and all that entails. It can be quite difficult at times, but hang in there, it is worth it.

    willie

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you 😊 Yes I crave for the deeper intimacy this seems to bring daily.

      I have enjoyed your comments many places and I think I have been on your blog at some point. Are you still blogging?

      Like

      • I still have my blog, though it has been private for a long time now. I went private for different reasons than most. I wasn’t afraid of being found out, I just wanted to leave ‘some out’ of my life ( that is not as bitter as it sounds..LOL). I found knowing who wasn’t reading my blog made it easier to write for me. My blog was public for the first two plus years ( in case you thought you had seen it). Anyway, I have it still, though I rarely write as much as I used to. I do have a public blog, Willie’s World, and it has a couple of posts ( perhaps that is what you are thinking of) though I mostly use it to promote the private one, as private blogs don’t show up on bloggers dashboards.

        So there you go WAY more than you ever wanted to know! lol
        willie

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s