1.5 Years Doing Whatever “This” Is

A year and a half ago we “formalized” this new chapter in our relationship. 

I ask him periodically what it is he likes about this. What does he find enjoyable. His response is always “the connection”. What he values most is the emotional attachment this has strengthened and it is his driving force in this. 

The other night when i melted down and asked “Is the D/s working for us” part of what was behind that was my struggle with the labels. Dom and sub come with a certain connotation that I don’t always feel fit us. 

What I got from his reaction was a bit of fear. Like he was afraid that I would try to take this away. I realized in that just how much he really does value “this”. It has given us the ability to maintain a level of emotional intimacy that we both have always desired. 

I love you Daddy ❤️  Thank you. 😘

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17 thoughts on “1.5 Years Doing Whatever “This” Is

  1. I try to be careful with labels. We/i don’t want to act a certain way just to fit a label. We are who we are. Sometimes He is part Master sometimes part Daddy just about always my Keeper. I try to be submissive and yet love Him like a slave. So we are who we are. Labels don’t matter so much I think. Its the road we are on. And my submissiveness has brought uS closer than ever, as well as an escalated ’emotional intimacy’. (mmmm!) He tells me we are never going back to who we were. And I hope not!

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  2. I think that what you have said is the essence of a married D/s relationship. The connection and the intimacy are such key parts of what we have too and I agree with sapphire that labels don’t matter. We are what we are and we are not all the same.

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  3. I agree with SbtS. We got stuck early on trying to follow someone else’s advice as “the way” to do it. We were fortunate to learn that “this” needs to fit us not the other way around. Labels can be very damaging if we try conform ourselves to how we think others define terms, to how we “should” be. We aren’t square pegs fitting into square holes. We are changeable, growing, evolving individuals. Labels can give us a common language to use to understand each other; but even with this common language while the same word *generally* means the same, the specifics can be very different.

    🎉Congratulations on a year and a half!🎉 I hope you have many more years of growing together and strengthening your relationship and intimacy.

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    • It sounds like a common thread. I think that sometimes people who try to tell you ‘the way’ to do it are trying to fulfill an unmet need in themselves. They use others to gauge what they have themselves and elevate it. Beware those who preach and lecture about how you should be in your relationship. To really advise others you would need to listen carefully first so that any advice fits the person who is asking. A ‘one true way model’ does not allow for this.

      Liked by 3 people

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