Happy Birthday Rita!!

Tee hee


What He Could

The argument on Saturday started because I expressed my frustration that the kids made a mess in the kitchen and didn’t clean it up. He was frustrated with that and said he would do the dishes. I didn’t want him to do this dishes!

Then when I ranted about the fact that the kid getting married hadn’t started the wedding bouquets yet again with an annoyed tone he said he would do them! WTF?!? I said You will do the bouquets?! Well if it upsets you then I’ll do them. I don’t want you to make the bouquets!!

I tried to leave but he held me there. I stayed for a bit but his body language and the look in his eyes were cold. Eventually I left and we spent the entire day not speaking.

I was so mad and hurt and confused because I didn’t understand why he was mad about it. I wasn’t mad had him. I was expressing my stress and I was hoping he would tell me that it isn’t my responsibility and if the kid doesn’t do it she pays the price. I wanted understanding and comfort. 

I know now that it was timing. He wasn’t able to see that I just wanted comfort and instead he responded in fixing mode. Except that his choice of how to fix it pissed me off. If he was going to fix it I wanted him to talk to the kid/s. Tell them to get their act together but that isn’t naturally in him. They have to really piss him off for him to get on their case at all. So he tried to fix it in the way he knows how which is to just do it himself. 

#stilllearning #noperfection #wearewhoweare #workwithwhatyouhave #iloveandadorethisman #subview #Darlingassignment

Do You Think I’m Sexy

“Do you think I’m sexy?”
“Yes I think you are sexy.” In an almost annoyed tone.
“Even though I’m not elegant and sophisticated?”
“And who would you be comparing yourself to?” Damn busted.
“Do you find my squirrel obsession sexy?”
“No but the fact you have one is.”   

There is a lot to ponder there.

Let It Go

I was on the verge of having my Little card taken away. I had never seen Frozen!!! Honestly I had no desire to but I was ashamed to admit that in front of other Littles. I had mentioned that to Daddy a few times and guess what he got me for Christmas. 

So last night all the kids were all home and I was STILL working on wedding favors and Daddy decides we need to watch it. There were groans from one kid and one left the room. Lol I finished up the batch I was working on and then snuggled onto to his lap.

I actually really liked it. Daddy kept laughing at Olaf. I never listened to the lyrics of Let It Go. I shut it out but last night I really heard it. “Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.”

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn’t keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.

Well, now they know!

Let it go, let it go!
Can’t hold it back any more.
Let it go, let it go!
Turn away and slam the door.
I don’t care what they’re going to say.
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway.

It’s funny how some distance,
makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me, can’t get to me at all
It’s time to see what I can do,
to test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I’m free!

Let it go, let it go.
I am one with the wind and sky.
Let it go, let it go.
You’ll never see me cry.
Here I’ll stand, and here I’ll stay.
Let the storm rage on.

My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back; the past is in the past!

Let it go, let it go.
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn.
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand, in the light of day.

Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway…

Chronic Illness Fatigue

Great post and attached articles!

Still Beth

I have high functioning* depression & anxiety, and Multiple Sclerosis. Depression and social anxiety I’ve had since I was a kid, inherited and learned from both my parents. But being “high functioning”, and my parents being old-fashioned (mental illness stigma), I didn’t get officially diagnosed and started on meds until about 5 years ago. I was diagnosed with M.S. a decade ago. Luckily the M.S. was caught with my first flare up. I’ve been on good medication and have only had a couple of flare ups since then (overheating is bad).

img_2426One of the major symptoms of these conditions is fatigue. F-A-T-I-G-U-E. Chronic mental and physical fatigue. Most days it doesn’t hit until late afternoon or evening but some days I wake up tired. Mr Man is a wonderful help to me. He usually helps me plan my day. I talk to him when I’m struggling to get started or…

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