What He Could

The argument on Saturday started because I expressed my frustration that the kids made a mess in the kitchen and didn’t clean it up. He was frustrated with that and said he would do the dishes. I didn’t want him to do this dishes!

Then when I ranted about the fact that the kid getting married hadn’t started the wedding bouquets yet again with an annoyed tone he said he would do them! WTF?!? I said You will do the bouquets?! Well if it upsets you then I’ll do them. I don’t want you to make the bouquets!!

I tried to leave but he held me there. I stayed for a bit but his body language and the look in his eyes were cold. Eventually I left and we spent the entire day not speaking.

I was so mad and hurt and confused because I didn’t understand why he was mad about it. I wasn’t mad had him. I was expressing my stress and I was hoping he would tell me that it isn’t my responsibility and if the kid doesn’t do it she pays the price. I wanted understanding and comfort. 

I know now that it was timing. He wasn’t able to see that I just wanted comfort and instead he responded in fixing mode. Except that his choice of how to fix it pissed me off. If he was going to fix it I wanted him to talk to the kid/s. Tell them to get their act together but that isn’t naturally in him. They have to really piss him off for him to get on their case at all. So he tried to fix it in the way he knows how which is to just do it himself. 

#stilllearning #noperfection #wearewhoweare #workwithwhatyouhave #iloveandadorethisman #subview #Darlingassignment

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6 thoughts on “What He Could

  1. I know it well. We present them with an issue and OBVIOUS solution, they see the issue and a different ‘solution’. We see things emotionally, they see things concretely. They believe fix the concrete part and the emotional part will fall back into place. Fixing the emotional part is waaaaay more difficult. I know it well

    Liked by 1 person

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