He Is Who I Married

I like many women brought this D/s concept to my husband. He is not what many would tag a dominant man. I am ok with that.

He did not pursue me. I let his sister know I was interested. If I remember she arranged the first date and we didn’t even talk prior. I believe if he would have come on too strong I would have been put off by that. I am glad that he did ask me out again because I’m not sure I said more than a few words that night. Lol

I had a lot of strong feminist ideas in my early days I believed in not needing a man and not allowing a man to be in charge. I spoke the words but in my heart was something different. I just didn’t know it yet. If he had come in strong taking control I would have balked. I wouldn’t have stood for such things.

From the beginning Daddy has been sweet and kind and has always tried to please me. He is not an overly confident person. Neither am I. I relate and so I can perceive those that are strongly confident as arrogant. We have always built each other up.

He enjoyed my strength and didn’t mind following me when I lead. He enjoyed being supportive of me and my desires. All wonderful qualities of a Daddy I might add.

It was a little hard and confusing to understand my desire for him to step up and take control after so many years. Though he values my happiness and so he is willing to try new things for me. He agreed to be my dominant and eventually my Daddy.

The road hasn’t always been easy as I have struggled at times on whether or not we could do this. I have had visions of a D/s relationship that is radically different.  I have expected him and myself for that matter to be different people. That isn’t possible.

I cannot chastise him for not turning into a textbook dominate. He is not going to suddenly demand his way with everything or insist I follow rules that he really does not care about. I believe I would end up resenting that. His confidence wanes at times. Taking on a leadership role does not instill automatic confidence. My actions still have great influence in that area.

The ways he has stepped up are in line with who he is. He is caring and nurturing me in a more open way than before. He makes decisions with confidence because he knows it makes me happy when he does.

In the end we are who we are. D/s doesn’t change that. We were and are compatible for a reason. I do believe with communication and patience we continue to tweak our relationship to better serve us both.

It does not matter if he is dominant he is my Leader, my Daddy, my Husband.


5 thoughts on “He Is Who I Married

  1. My Sir is not naturally dominant either, his mother is a strong feminist. Our marriage had always been very egalitarian until I asked for D/s. He has grown in confidence in his role as he’s seen how happy it makes me to be his submissive and have him in charge. “In the end we are who we are. D/s doesn’t change that.” I agree, our D/s should be molded to fit us not the other way around. Wonderful post!

    Liked by 1 person

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