Fuck This Label

I have been struggling and today I feel a huge weight lifted from me. What has changed? Nothing.

Daddy and I had a conversation last night. He had surprised me by requesting two days prior that we find some time to talk. I had actually been hoping to do the same. I did not tell him I had something on my mind because I did not know if what he would say would affect whether I proceeded or not. He had picked up that things were not right lately and he wanted to know why. Except the fact that we were both already a little emotional and on guard it was a perfect lead in to what I wanted to discuss.

I rambled and babbled and I wasn’t very clear but I told him that I wasn’t sure we were D/s and I didn’t like the expectations that have come with the label. He did not agree with my thoughts on whether we fit the term. It also very much concerned him that I wanted to roll back the changes we have made. I told him that I ABSOLUTELY knew that he was my Daddy no matter what.

I said that I did not like the expectations I had for him as a Dominant. I also realized that I was holding myself to some pretty high expectations. I was beating myself up over some thinking and I was wrongly measuring my devotion to him based on how far I could submit. I told him I did not want to change us or what we have been doing. I just wanted to throw away the fucking measuring stick.

I know that not everyone is the same but time and time again I have not felt like we are even under the umbrella. D/s is a label that I so desperately wanted to wear but now it is itching the fuck out of me and I think I need to tear it out.

I understand it should not matter but I am not one to misrepresent myself and I have based this blog on the premise of a D/s relationship. I have been socializing online at D/s sites. I have enjoyed helping others starting out or those having similar situations or struggles. I do not want to feel like an imposter or that I am misrepresenting but I have feared consequences of just voicing these doubts. I really want to feel like I have contributed. However, a friend said, “The rest is for ego stroking in front of strangers.” She may not have meant it directed at me but I felt it fit. Stroking feels good, tee hee, but I am here to be real and vulnerable and connect to those that relate.

What that means for the future of those social things… I don’t know. Maybe nothing. Maybe it’s time to leave the fair.

I know I have felt lighter today.

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17 thoughts on “Fuck This Label

  1. First off, good for you for shedding your labels and having the lady balls to put it all out there in a blog like this!
    Second, you don’t need labels to belong, all you need is an ability to empathize with others. While some people find them comforting and that’s ok, others get buried down by them and find they can’t fully flourish. So if that’s you, then by all means cast those itchy labels aside and bask in your freedom!
    Third, I haven’t been part of SWC very long, but I do know how inclusive and supportive that community is, so I strongly believe you will continue to be accepted there for as long as you want to be!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I also want to say that even if you say you’re not currently participating in the d/s lifestyle, I still think you have a lot to contribute and help that you can provide to others. And I hope you don’t “leave the fair”, your blog or SWC.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You get to define what D/s means to you. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. And if you don’t feel you fit the term D/s you can just be Princess and her Daddy making your relationship what you want it to be. Please don’t go too far away, I would miss you. (Who else will share the squirrel porn?lol)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. No time to read all comments now, but… CONGRATULATIONS! 😄
    You’re human, and that’s why I love you!
    I, like you, have some submissive tendencies. I never voiced them clearly to The Dancer, because our relationship started to grow incorporating them. I’ve had it easy if you will 😉

    Just be true to yourself and to your relationship. That’s all that really counts in the end!
    💖💕

    Liked by 1 person

  5. People are like cars going by, they almost all have different gearing. A few may be different colors or body styles and yet have the same drivetrain (gearing) underneath. Yet they, for all of their differences, all take people where they want to go.

    The question of arrival isn’t centered on the label on the trunk is it? The condition of the drivetrain matters a lot though. As long as the two of you are in the same gear and running well it might be wise to not let the label determine where you go together.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hugs for typing that all out.

    There are infinite combo for a D/s relationship. What works for you may not work for others. You can share the unique aspect of your relationship to others, but don’t expect others to follow your suggestions. And vice versa, others may share their opinions, but that does not mean it will work for your relationship.

    So have your own vision of what your D/s relationship is gonna look like. Share it with your Daddy. That way you two can have a common goal and won’t be easily strayed from other’s opinions. =)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. If you were relating the comment about ‘ego stroking in front of strangers’ to your blog and the contributions you have made/are making to online communities then I would not agree with your friend about what that is. We have become friends through that arena and I value the support that you have given me over the time and feel that we have built a genuine friendship so I do not see that in anyway as either of us seeking to stroke our egos. As to the label I would agree with Beth. It is what you want to to be. It has brought many of us together and we have benefitted from that and if all it does is allow you to find other likeminded people and a place where you can be accepted for who you are then it has done its job. No one is judging. No one is measuring submissiveness or Dominance on some sort of barometer for entry at the door so do what makes you happy and be where you feel that you fit. Carrying a label doesn’t change who or what you are, or at least you shouldn’t allow it to. I think it would be a huge loss to a large number of people of you chose to leave but you have to do what is right for you and what makes you happy. At the centre is always you and him and what you have and none of this is as important as that so if you will both be better without it then that is what you should do, but I would be disappointed to see you leave and hope that you would keep in touch in some other way.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I love your honesty. Im new to D/s label but I know Im a submissive and I know I married a man that was dominant overtime we switched roles then we switched back we found the label because that’s how we are learning but it doesn’t mean that we are “the label”. and must apply all of it we take what we throughout what does not fit. We/me changing everyday in a few more years I’m not sure what kind of labels we will be applying to Who We Are. I think of D/s like evolution always changing even when you’re staying the same you’re still changing because you’re becoming more comfortable Where You Are and in time you will change again.
    Your honesty is what supports others. Text books are for class rooms not the real world.
    Reese

    Liked by 1 person

  9. lovely one … when Master choose me… He began with one instruction… NO PRESCRIPTION. Meaning that i had go into this knowing what i was doing but with No Expectations of Him and myself.

    Not an easy task – but one i took on 100%.

    in the beginning – i met another slave blogger – but she ended up damaging my heart – she would tell me that by Bdsm Law … i was hardly even a sub – that she was the greatest of slaves and i had no right in claiming that name for myself … (not the greatest slave … just slave to my Master).

    My sweet girl – it is you and His dear self that matters … Your own way … just for you both …

    i adore you so greatly – throw away expectations… feel the way with your deliciously kinky hearts …

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Follow-up | toraprincess

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