Bringing them into the light

I have not openly talked about my online friends with my children.  Now they are not stupid and they have known for quite some time that I am chatting online.  I have been given many a lecture about how who I am chatting with could really be a “middle aged man in his mother’s basement”. Lmao  When I talk to Daddy about my friends I tend to lower my voice around the kids. I am not ashamed of them, I think it is just due to the nature of our meeting.  I’m not good at lying and so telling them I met them in a quilting forum wouldn’t be convincing. Lol

Saturday I got the news just a couple hours before an extended family bbq.  Daddy texted all of the kids and let them know that someone I was close to was gone. It wasn’t discussed but I got extra hugs and they were sympathetic.

In the next few months I am planning to meet a few of these friends in person. Last night I casually mentioned to my oldest the conference and friend that I would be meeting. I gave little detail as I hadn’t quite planned it out.  This morning I realized I really do want to let the kids know about my friends. I want to talk about them openly. Elsewhere too. I lost a really good friend and part of me wanted to say something when I was asked How was your time off?  Alright was what I said when I really wanted to say it fucking sucked.


Sharing Life

I’m going through the photos in our group chat. thousands of photos There are lots of cute animals, memes, pens, mlp, coloring pages we’ve done, photos of our kids, pets, hair. Scrolling through is mostly innocuous and then a dildo pic rolls by. lmao

We’ve shared everything.  Our lives.

Emmie’s last upload.



I’ve been meaning to write about the friendships formed. How much they mean that my heart is full because of them.

Today my heart is ripped out.

I’ve lost one of my best friends. I’ve never met her but I’ve shared so much with her.

“You seem like you wanna chat. I’ll chat with you.” Started a friendship and eventally me on my little realization.

I don’t know what to do knowing your gone.

Oh Emily I yuv you and bite me

against the false flip: on mutuality in kink

Ahhh the “Who really has the power” debate.
Andrea Zanin does an excellent job describing why the debate is absurd.
“If we assume that two individuals with equal negotiating power decide they want to engage in some kinky fun, then it follows that they share power in whatever they’re doing. “

Sex Geek

handshakeToday I want to tackle (read: tear apart) a common kink misconception I’ve been hearing off and on for the better part of twenty years. That is: in BDSM, the power is actually in the hands of the bottom or submissive.

This statement is profoundly weird. I think people started saying it in order to disrupt the idea that bottoms have no say at all, which I suppose is a laudable goal. After all, the “BDSM is abuse” crowd is not known for nuanced thinking, so I guess a strong pushback might have been necessary at some point.

But simply flipping the statement gets you a new one no better than the original. And frankly I think it’s reasonable for anti-BDSM folks to call bullshit on that kind of simplistic response, because it truly is bullshit, even if I find the rest of their politics abhorrent.

Let’s unpack it…

View original post 785 more words

word vomit

not feeling like writing; not knowing what to write; have an idea, start, decide why bother

changes of 2018 are slow, and fast – does that make sense?  not fast enough in the switching jobs and yet for someone who doesn’t like change …

boss quit 2 weeks ago and i am overwhelmed, relieved, jealous, confused

my 2 new favorite phrases “i am one person” (and there are 200 of you) and “i don’t know” (and I really don’t care much anymore)

no Mr CIO you cannot “just plug it in and it will work”  omfg

i went to a networking event for the new career Mingling! I HATE MINGLING I Suck at it  Thankfully a few other people made introductions… no clue what their names are 🙄  … but they gave out STICKERS!!!!   Instant reward I ❤ it

i should jot things down as soon as they happen. Daddy and I had a hilarious conversation the other night but all i can remember is it started with me saying “my tits look awesome in this lighting”

Daddy suggested a little topic of Disney crossovers   Elsa riding the carpet with Aladdin and others but I just can’t wrap my brain around that.   Is it just me? maybe I’m a pureist

“Be patient with me. I’m not perfect.” sigh Yes Daddy. I know i have issues when he falls from that pedestal i have put him on.

in 2 months and 1 hour we will have been married 25 years … silly Daddy married me when I was 4 lol

it’s past my bedtime…

i saw a hawk eating a squirrel 😦

crayons smell good in a coffee can (metal can)

good night john boy